INFP Relationships: Inside the Mind of the Dreamer

Much of what we do over the course of our lives can be attributed to the motives of our minds, which are heavily influenced by personality. Creating and maintaining relationships with other individuals heavily depends on whether or not your personalities match up on a variety of differing factors. INFP, a specific personality trait derived from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator alludes to individuals who are highly introverted, intuitive, feeling-oriented, and perceptive. In the sections below, we will discuss the advantages of obtaining an INFP significant other, friend or parent.

For more information about personality attributes and how they develop, check out this course on the psychology of personality!

Before we begin, let’s take a look at the factors that make up an INFP personality:

INFP Personality

INFP types, though often assessed as reserved or even quite timid, typically hide extraordinarily unique characteristics beneath their calm exterior. The attributes that define this specific type is astonishing passion and extraordinary drive. The INFP type can be classified as highly motivated and inspirational to those around them. Attempting to fully understand an INFP individual without comprehending what drives them is an unachievable endeavor. The entire personality of an INFP can be focused around idealism, which is why this type is commonly referred to as the “dreamer”. This idealism is often used to produce unique and captivating works of art, particularly in the form of the written word. Many modern and classic examples of INFP types include famous writers and poets, such as William Shakespeare and J. R. R. Tolkien.

Along with this extraordinary drive comes the need to retreat into a hermit like state, which provides the INFP with an environment suitable for hard work and limited distraction. Without such alone time, the individual would not be able to produce some of his best work. In addition to being highly motivated, INFPs also seek out this trait in others and operate under the assumption that humankind is basically good; each individual has some form of worth and, thus, should be appreciated and accepted for it.

Advantages of Dating an INFP Type

Choosing to enter into a relationship with an INFP type has many benefits since a wide-variety of relationship directed traits can be found in such people. A few of these attributes include:

• Extraordinary passion. When an INFP type discovers something that he or she is passionate about, drawing their efforts away from it would be a futile task. The energy and vivacity they bring into a relationship is sure to keep it fresh and exciting for quite some time.
• Flexibility and open-mindedness. The INFP is not one to exhibit high levels of judgment and make a point to attempt to understand the underlying meaning of every situation. They recognize that others are basically good people and will not make assumptions without reasonable proof.
• Astounding creativity. Creativity colors the lives of INFPs, lighting up their days and bringing purpose to the forefront of their mind. A relationship with this type is sure to be filled with inspired methods of proclaiming adoration and appreciation on a near-daily basis.
• Highly valued work ethic. The INFP believes that in order to get anywhere in life, you must work hard and earn your way to the position. They rank high in need for accomplishment and are constantly finding ways to express their motivation to succeed.

Drawbacks of Dating an INFP Type

Dating an INFP type can be gratifying, but as with all types, it has its downsides. A few INFP qualities that may pose problems in the relationship include:

• Reservation in allowing others in. INFP personalities have a tendency to remain reserved in social situations, which prevents potential significant others from being able to develop a full understanding of the individual. In other words, getting to know an INFP completely may take quite a bit of time and effort.
• High levels of altruism. While this may not immediately seem like a drawback, it can potentially cause a number of problems in a relationship. INFPs are inclined to get wrapped completely in their current cause célèbre and disregard the importance of other things in their lives, including the relationship.
• Difficulty in accepting criticism. INFP types often take constructive criticism very personally, becoming defensive and occasionally hostile at the presentation of such words. They usually have a high self-concept and are easily irritated when they feel it has become threatened.
• Idealizing the relationship. INFP types are known dreamers and, as such, may place their significant other on a pedestal, honoring them as if they are the representation of perfection. This may place pressure on the other to attempt to live up to this expectation and, furthermore, allow high levels of strain into the relationship.

INFP as a Friend

In addition to excelling at romantic relationships, INFP types also make exceptional friends. However, opening themselves up to such a close and fulfilling friendship proves a challenge to the INFP. Typically withdrawn while encountering new people, the INFP requires quite a bit of time and effort on the part of both parties in order to develop such a friendship. Even those who are brought to the inner circle may feel as though the INFP has not fully allowed the friend inside. Despite this, once the INFP considers another to be a close friend, they prove to be exceptionally loyal and supportive. The intuitive nature of the INFP allows them to immediately identify the emotional state of those around them and provide immediate comfort.

INFPs value quality over quantity and rarely take note of how many friends they have surrounded themselves with. They prefer only a few close friends whom they know they will be able to put their trust in. However, a strong characteristic of the INFP is that they require vast amounts of alone time, often confusing even the closest of friends. Also, the INFP places quite a bit of worth on building friendships with others who share their core values.

INFP as a Parent

Parents who fall into the category of INFP tend to be exceptionally loving and supportive caretakers. Their highly valued work ethic manifests itself into parenthood and influences the mother or father to do all that they can to ensure that the child is granted the best possible life. However, while INFP parents remain overly open-minded, they can also be quite stubborn in their values and may attempt to heavily influence the child to follow in their footsteps.

INFP parents believe that it is their purpose as a caretaker is to inspire and motivate their offspring and encourage those children to reach their full potential through personal growth. They tend to be highly supportive of deliberate efforts on the child’s part to take on a cause célèbre and expand their intellect. In addition to providing emotional encouragement, INFP parents also typically create an environment that promotes expansion of learning, such as piles of books or art supplies.